Confession: most of my ideas for these last few posts have been developed during my Soils and Earthmoving Equipment class, and this one is no exception.  Sorry, Professor Zabel, but Jesus is a heck of a lot more interesting than underground site utility takeoff.

A couple of weeks ago I took a test.  It was one of those tests that leaves you with a sick feeling in your stomach afterwards because you just know it ain't one that Mom's gonna put on the fridge.  I left the class feeling pretty incapable.  In hindsight, now that I've received my grade, I suppose it was a bit of an overreaction (my mind tends to do that on occasion).  I got a B.  But I digress...the point of this story is that after my test, I realized pretty quickly that complaining and arguing about the test with my friends wasn't going to satisfy me. I just really wanted Jesus.  It wasn't as if I was feeling blue and just needed a quick Jesus-pick-me-up, it was much more than that.    It was a cool feeling, a desperate feeling to know that all I really needed was Jesus, and he was ready for me.  I finally found some time and a place to escape the mob that had gathered to quietly protest some of the test questions. I turned to John 15, and, boy, did I find Jesus.  I hit verse 9, and I stopped.  "As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you.  Now remain in my love." I re-read the verse, and this is what I got: "Do not remain in your intelligence.  It's not perfect.  Do not remain in your plans.  They will fall through, they are not perfect.  But do you know what is perfect? My love.  My love is perfect, so remain in it.  Abide in it.  I will not fail you.  Be desperate for my love and my love only because it is the kind of love that is not of this world."

"You can have all this world, but give me Jesus."

Where I Belong

Your presence is all I am longing for

here in the secret place

Your nearness is all I am waiting for

here in the quiet place

here in the secret place

My soul waits for You alone,

like the watchman waits for dawn

Here I've finally found a place,

where we'll meet, Lord, face to face

Finally found where I belong

Finally found where I belong,

In Your presence

Finally found where I belong,

to be with you

to be with you

I am my Beloved's and He is mine

Come into your garden and take delight in me

Delight in me, delight in me, delight in me, delight

delight in me, delight in me, delight in me, delight

Here in Your presence, God, I find my rest

Here in Your presence, God

This song is beautiful.  It's simple, yet so powerful.  The statement that it makes is undoubtedly enormous.  To look God in the face and say that "here in Your presence, I find my rest" is an incredibly bold, haunting, and liberating claim.  I do not belong to this world, but instead, I belong in Your presence.

Sometimes I feel so far away from the place where I can say that to God and mean it.  And i'm afraid that's because I complicate my faith far too much.  It's so easy to make my whole walk with God centered around my accomplishments in pursuing Christ.  I can get so focused on the details of my life and my faith that I miss the big picture.

 Live a life that pleases God. 

I want to find my rest in His presence.  I want to place my confidence in the presence of God.  I don't want to place my trust in democracy, or capitalism, or academics, or finances, or me.  I want to place my trust in the presence of God; because that is what matters.  That is where I belong.  I belong with Jesus Christ.  This skin and bones is just a rental.  I'm not obligated to my flesh, because I belong with Jesus Christ. 

If the idea is so simple, how come it's so difficult to actually do?  Well, for one, easy and simple are entirely different things.  This past week, God has shown me what it means to really walk with Him throughout the day.  To remind myself constantly "how can I pursue God in this situation?" puts every circumstance in perspective. But still, I don't have the discipline to do this in all situations.  But I want it.   His presence is enough for me.  I get myself in trouble when I begin to mindlessly follow the desires of my flesh and begin to convince myself that His presence isn't quite enough, but that I would be satisfied with just this one extra thing.   To find my rest in the presence of God means to continually be in the presence of God, to continually be in a mindset of pursuing God in every situation.  That is the missing link between the simplicity of "just please God", and it's implementation in every day life.  

Basically, I want to debunk my own myth of a complicated faith.  I just want to live a life that pleases the heart of God.  If God isn't being glorified, if He isn't able to delight in me, then I am not living the way that He demands.  

its simple.  please God.  period.

Sunday Afternoon

Something about Sunday afternoons.  There's a sort of naive invincibility to it.  I took a walk today with someone that's close to me.  I haven't taken a walk in a long time.  Usually, when I want to think, I go on  a motorcycle ride.  But today, I slowed it down.  You can see a lot of God when you doing 50 down a back road, but you can see a lot of Him too when you walking with someone else's hand in yours under the canopy  of green tree tops that sit just below a  uniformly blue sky. I'm not sure what it is about Sunday afternoons that let you look at the two terrifyingly busy weeks ahead and welcome it with the kind of abandon that should only exist during the carefree weeks of summer break.  Whatever it is, I'm a fan.  I don't have time to stress out--life's too important.  There are things in life that I know I'm called to, but if I focus too much on next year, next month, next week, or even tomorrow, then I miss today.  And I can't ever get today back.  God has this way of reminding me of this sometimes.  Today it was with a walk.  With contrast.  With a sleepy goodbye.  With fall.  With grace.  With understanding.  I can't exactly explain how, but trust me, He did.  There's a lot more in store for me than stress.  I want to be able to slow down.  I want to see the subtleties that God laces into the earth that often time go unnoticed. I want to see what I normally miss,  'cause I feel like God has a lot more in store than what I realize.  Sometimes I guess it just takes a Sunday afternoon to realize that.

Stories.

Well, here I am again. About a year after my first post. (Side note: 6 posts in a year isnt a really great batting average, maybe I'll have to change that this next year.) Theres nothing real profound this time, just the annual oh-crap-summers-almost-over-where-did-the-time-go type feelings. I welcome this time of year, really. The OCSAOWDTTG feeling really begs a lot of questions. Most notably: what do I have to show for the last two months that seemed to pass without me realizing it? Do I have more than a couple scars, some pictures, and a beard to show for it? I better. And I believe I do...because now I have a story. And this isn't just any story, this is one of the best stories of all time. Most everybody's summer, when asked, was "great", or "awesome", or, if they're felling really descriptive, "so freakin' cool". I bet I could ask 10 people that question, and 9 of them would give one of those three answers.. It terrifies me to think that this summer would be boiled down to "awesome." My summer wasn't just "great", it wasn't just "awesome", and it definitely wasn't just "so freakin' cool". Of course, it was all of those things, but those aren't the oh-so-creative adjectives that should be used to describe a summer that has seen lives changed. A summer that has created best friends. A summer that has knocked Satan to the ground on a few occasions. A summer that has glorified the One who makes all things new. A summer that has pushed to the limits my patience and my will to go another day. No, those adjectives don't cut it for this type of summer. Because this summer is a story. It needs to be told. It can't be reduced to a few overused, less-than-creative words.

This summer I've seen what hope is. I've seen devotion. I've seen dedication. I've seen love. Ive seen passion. I've seen promise. Ive seen innocence. Ive seen growth. I've also seen fear, pain, impatience, loneliness, desperation, death, alcoholism, hopelessness, heat. I've felt the miles. I've wrestled with myself. Pushed myself. Hurt myself. I have created. I have witnessed. I have learned. I have changed.

Enough about me, what about us? If were careful to look, were all writing stories. Everyday, we write stories that need to be told. Some are written in the sweat of manual labor, some are written in creativity, and some still are written in the monotony of our daily routine. These stories may not seem interesting and especially not share worthy, but they are...because were always developing. Donald Miller says that's what makes a good story: character development. Every lesson learned develops the character into something new. At the tail end of every conquered struggle emerges a new character stronger and ready for the next the next challenge. This, however, is where the crucial catch comes into play: Why? What's the big picture about? When the last page is read, what's the first thought that runs through the mind of the reader? If your story doesn't ignite the reader to change, what good is it? Was there ever a book written that wasn't meant to invigorate, inform, or invite change? We have so little time to write our stories. Compared to eternity, this life is nothing. But it's our only chance. If were not careful, we'll end up writing a story we never meant to. Our stories are only good for as long as they can be told, then were done. Forgotten. So why not write a story that has impact for eternity? A story that invites the reader to change and experience for eternity what you know is good and true. Once the last page is written, there's no editing.

I know your summer was better than "so freakin' cool". You have a story that needs to be told. Don't do others the disservice by telling them that your summer was "awesome".

My summer neighbor has more stories than the library of congress. Last week he told me that now, after everything I've seen this summer, "you've got a story too. So go out and tell it."

Chapter one...

There's Only Grace

What happens when there's no end game in sight? All that's available... is a horizon. A cold, endless horizon that seems to offer no answers and no security. That's all that was offered Abraham. All he knew for certain was that God called him to go. So, without knowing where, why, or how, Abraham braved the horizon. That's all that was offered Peter and Andrew. All they knew was they were going fishing for men. (What?!) So, without knowing where, why, or how, they braved the horizon. That's all that was offered Noah too. All he knew was to build a boat. So, without knowing why, he braved the horizon. Were they crazy? Yeah. Were they a little foolish? Yup. And that's awesome.

But there's more. . You see, even though the horizon may offer no answers and certainly no security, it offers something else: endless possibilities. Literally. Anything can happen. Abraham learned that lesson well, as did Noah and Peter and Andrew. Years after raving the horizon one man was led to the Promised Land, one was entrusted with repopulating the earth, and two were entrusted with spreading the greatest story ever told. Who woulda thunk that? It only goes to show that when surrender occurs, quite literally anything can happen.

There is however, one more thing that the horizon offers: grace. The One who calls you to the horizon has an end game. He can see beyond the horizon itself. He knows where you're going to finish, and he has a plan for it. He knows the mission. He has the answers. And hes offering grace. The mistakes are inevitable, but failure is not. Even in one of Peters great acts of faith, he stepped out on the water. But soon after, he lost sight of his prize, he started to sink. But it was only grace that was there to catch him. The mistakes are inevitable, but failure is not. Grace is there to catch us.

There is a very fine line between letting God direct you, and being lazy, so it is with a sort of reckless caution that I say these things. But, quit waiting for God to write his will in the sky with lightening. Quit waiting for a burning bush. Is that to say that he won't send that? No. But a lot of time can be wasted waiting around for God to draw the full picture. As long as your hearts desire is for "Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven" you can't go wrong. So go ahead, risk the ocean....there's only grace. Risk the horizon....there's only grace. No answers, no security, no direction? No problem. Grace is here with endless possibilities to change the world.

Let's risk the ocean, there's only grace.

Please Be My Strength

"Father, please be my strength, 'cause I don't have anymore. I'm so tired and the dark is creeping in--I want to stop and rest. I can't keep this up. It's 3 AM and I don't want to be with you right now--but I'm not leaving until You grip my heart. Break me, make me weep, show me my filth, lowercase me. You and You alone are capable of bringing me back home. I cry mercy. I cry freedom. And I cry to be bound to righteousness. Lord, pinch me and wake me up. I'm tired of being numb to Your shout, to your whisper. I didn't notice that You were standing there all along. That all this time that You've been crying too. And I didn't notice that that was You washing my feet. All this time, its been You and You alone, bringing me back home. God, if You would still have me--if You would accept a wretch. If You could look on me with any mercy. I would beg for a desperation for You and You alone. Blind me to the dark, bind me to the light. When It comes along, please be my strength, because I won't have anymore. When I don't long for you, please be my strength, because I won't have anymore. When its easier to stop and rest, please be my strength, because I won't have anymore. Be my obsession. Be my day, my night. Be my purpose. Be my plan A, B and C. Be my judge. Be my madness. Be my God. Be my strength, because I don't have anymore. Amen"

Believe Something Bigger

"And there's nothing left to do, but believe something bigger"

I think Crowder's on to something. What if we believed something bigger? What if we believed that there is a break in the clouds and that rescue really is coming? What if we believed that if we really gave ourselves to God, he would provide? What if we believed in something bigger than the american dream?

What would happen to the world if, in realizing that there is so much more, we gave it all up and decided to live for something timeless?


It really doesn't take much to believe in something bigger. Actually, it cost nothing. It costs absolutely nothing of us as Christians to deny the world and follow God. Why? Because it's really hard to offer a dead person anything. Galatians tells us that we we're crucified with Christ. We're dead to the world, and it's really hard to entice a dead person with anything. Maybe this is why God has made it so easy for me to say that there is nothing attractive enough to keep me from giving everything to Him. If I live dirt poor the rest of my life just so that I can tell people about Christ who have never heard before, it cost me nothing. I'm not bound to a house in the suburbs, I'm dead to that. I'm not obligated by a 401k, I'm dead to that. I'm not sacrificing a comfortable life, I'm already dead to that.



So I don't know where God's gonna take me. All I know is, I can confidently say "Here I am Lord, send me!"

dont give up now. a break in the clouds. we could be found. rescue is coming. rescue is coming. rescue is coming.