Confession: most of my ideas for these last few posts have been developed during my Soils and Earthmoving Equipment class, and this one is no exception.  Sorry, Professor Zabel, but Jesus is a heck of a lot more interesting than underground site utility takeoff.

A couple of weeks ago I took a test.  It was one of those tests that leaves you with a sick feeling in your stomach afterwards because you just know it ain't one that Mom's gonna put on the fridge.  I left the class feeling pretty incapable.  In hindsight, now that I've received my grade, I suppose it was a bit of an overreaction (my mind tends to do that on occasion).  I got a B.  But I digress...the point of this story is that after my test, I realized pretty quickly that complaining and arguing about the test with my friends wasn't going to satisfy me. I just really wanted Jesus.  It wasn't as if I was feeling blue and just needed a quick Jesus-pick-me-up, it was much more than that.    It was a cool feeling, a desperate feeling to know that all I really needed was Jesus, and he was ready for me.  I finally found some time and a place to escape the mob that had gathered to quietly protest some of the test questions. I turned to John 15, and, boy, did I find Jesus.  I hit verse 9, and I stopped.  "As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you.  Now remain in my love." I re-read the verse, and this is what I got: "Do not remain in your intelligence.  It's not perfect.  Do not remain in your plans.  They will fall through, they are not perfect.  But do you know what is perfect? My love.  My love is perfect, so remain in it.  Abide in it.  I will not fail you.  Be desperate for my love and my love only because it is the kind of love that is not of this world."

"You can have all this world, but give me Jesus."

Where I Belong

Your presence is all I am longing for

here in the secret place

Your nearness is all I am waiting for

here in the quiet place

here in the secret place

My soul waits for You alone,

like the watchman waits for dawn

Here I've finally found a place,

where we'll meet, Lord, face to face

Finally found where I belong

Finally found where I belong,

In Your presence

Finally found where I belong,

to be with you

to be with you

I am my Beloved's and He is mine

Come into your garden and take delight in me

Delight in me, delight in me, delight in me, delight

delight in me, delight in me, delight in me, delight

Here in Your presence, God, I find my rest

Here in Your presence, God

This song is beautiful.  It's simple, yet so powerful.  The statement that it makes is undoubtedly enormous.  To look God in the face and say that "here in Your presence, I find my rest" is an incredibly bold, haunting, and liberating claim.  I do not belong to this world, but instead, I belong in Your presence.

Sometimes I feel so far away from the place where I can say that to God and mean it.  And i'm afraid that's because I complicate my faith far too much.  It's so easy to make my whole walk with God centered around my accomplishments in pursuing Christ.  I can get so focused on the details of my life and my faith that I miss the big picture.

 Live a life that pleases God. 

I want to find my rest in His presence.  I want to place my confidence in the presence of God.  I don't want to place my trust in democracy, or capitalism, or academics, or finances, or me.  I want to place my trust in the presence of God; because that is what matters.  That is where I belong.  I belong with Jesus Christ.  This skin and bones is just a rental.  I'm not obligated to my flesh, because I belong with Jesus Christ. 

If the idea is so simple, how come it's so difficult to actually do?  Well, for one, easy and simple are entirely different things.  This past week, God has shown me what it means to really walk with Him throughout the day.  To remind myself constantly "how can I pursue God in this situation?" puts every circumstance in perspective. But still, I don't have the discipline to do this in all situations.  But I want it.   His presence is enough for me.  I get myself in trouble when I begin to mindlessly follow the desires of my flesh and begin to convince myself that His presence isn't quite enough, but that I would be satisfied with just this one extra thing.   To find my rest in the presence of God means to continually be in the presence of God, to continually be in a mindset of pursuing God in every situation.  That is the missing link between the simplicity of "just please God", and it's implementation in every day life.  

Basically, I want to debunk my own myth of a complicated faith.  I just want to live a life that pleases the heart of God.  If God isn't being glorified, if He isn't able to delight in me, then I am not living the way that He demands.  

its simple.  please God.  period.