Not For Sale

After roughly 230 hours of work, I am only a couple of weeks away from completing my senior thesis.  The past 8 weeks have been intense, but it will be worth it here shortly when I walk down the hall with a complete 300 page binder and hand it off to the faculty.  This means that it's almost over, college that is.

I have already made plans to go to Honduras this fall for one year.  I made a promise to God two and a half years ago that I would give  a period of time immediately after graduation to go and share the gospel overseas.  If you're doing the math, there's a gap from May to Fall-ish where my schedule will suddenly free up drastically.  I am currently applying/searching for jobs or internships to hold me over until I leave for Honduras, but  God may have other plans for that.

Anyway, as graduation approaches, I have been attending quite a few industry presentations given by hiring companies.  It's a strange dynamic, really.  At the presentation, a company will pull out all the stops to try and pitch their company to a room full of hopeful students.  They send their best presenters, their flashiest powerpoints, and the company credit card.  That time of presentation is like listening to a used car salesman.  "This company is different because..." or "Something you find with this company that you won't find anywhere else is..." or "This is the best company I've ever worked for..."  They try their hardest to convince us that their company is worth working for.  Flash forward to interview time and suddenly, the tables have turned...literally.  Two men sit on one side of a rectangular table as I sit on the other side facing them.  Now, it's my turn to sell.  I wear a suit, a tie, shiny shoes. I try to sell my resume, my accomplishments, and my worthiness to men who, just the night before, were trying to sell me on the very thing I'm competing for.

As I sat through one of these presentations last week and began to make the connections of this odd situation, my mind decided to park itself on the gospel.  I realized that the gospel, specifically how it should be presented, has absolutely no connection to these presentations or interviews.  The gospel does not need to be sold.  It does not need to be advertised on a brochure.  It cannot be made to look any more appealing that it already is.  No pamphlet will make it seem sexier.  No powerpoint will do it justice.

The gospel does not need to be sold. It can only be accepted as is.

God has given me the opportunity a couple of times over the last few weeks to share the gospel with a friend whose salvation I have been praying for for almost two years.  It is so tempting to make the gospel sound appealing.  To try to sell the gospel so that he'll accept it.  To make it sound so sweet, that he would have to be a fool to reject it.  But the fact of the matter is, the gospel is not appealing...its offensive.  The gospel is, and should be, offensive to those whose hearts have not been gripped by God.  Offensive maybe, but essential still.  Not a word in Matthew 10 hints at the gospel demanding anything less than everything.  Yet it's still so tempting to try to sell "Admit, believe, confess and you're good."  (Side note: I hate "Admit, Believe, and Confess".  I think it should be more appropriately titled "Believe and Die".  I think that sums it up much better.  Believe that Christ paid the ultimate bounty for your salvation, and therefore Die to all the world so that you can make Christ and his fame known.  Something tells me the church isn't going to adopt "Believe and Die."  That won't fill seats.)  

Anything less than the true gospel is no gospel at all, it is a man-made story designed to make ourselves feel better about our religious standing.  So, next time you present the gospel, remember that you're not trying to sell it to anybody.  That's God's job.  The gospel must be presented in its true form: We are dead, incapable of raising ourselves to life.  But God allowed his son to be murdered so that He could raise us to life.  And therefore we owe him everything.  Our own agendas become irrelevant and His purpose becomes paramount.  

A Different Spin on the Word

I normally don't care too much for Panera, but once I discovered that they make make a mean macaroni n' cheese in a bread bowl, I can normally at least tolerate it now. It was fairly busy on this mid-week day, mostly populated by families, studious folks, and sorority girls.  As we (my aunt, my sister, and myself) sat around our overpriced and undersized sandwiches, except for my carbohydrate overloaded mac n' cheese in a bread bowl, we talked and caught up on everybody's lives.  We talked about our family, work, graduation...typical stuff.  About an hour into our conversation, our focus turned to a far more serious topic: a family member with Alzheimer's disease.  As awful as this disease is, as heartbreaking it can be, I was not at all focused on the negative effects that this disease has had on certain people in my family.  My attention hung on every word my aunt had to say not out of sympathy or politeness, but because I was struck by the love.  As I heard more and more stories about this person who is literally losing her mind, the love with which she is loved by those in my family captivated me.  I can only imagine the patience and gentleness and self-control and peace it takes to, day in and day out, bear witness to someone so close fade further and further from the person they once were.  I'm not saying these things as a testament to the misery that Alzheimer's causes, I'm saying it because the love that my aunt and uncle have for this family member is something that seems unnatural.

 It truly is a great picture for how Christ loves us.  Christ loved us without qualification.  Christ loved us even when we didn't realize it.  He loved us even when he knew we would not reciprocate that love.  In a similar way, my family is loving this family member in a way that will not change no matter how much memory this disease robs.  They will love unqualified.  They love with their time, their money, their disposition, their patience, and their hope.   They love without expecting affirmation in return.

This kind of love, however, goes beyond just family.  This idea is the whole point--to love all.  Christ commands us to love all, without regard to  financial, educational, political, or geographical status.

As we ate and talked in the back of the restaurant, I watched as many people came and went.  One man in particular grabbed my attention.  Judging by the sea foam green scrubs, a nurse.  He was studying a packet, perhaps for school, perhaps for work.  Either way, what was obvious was the joy that this man had to be studying this packet.  I have no clue what he was reading, but it was clear that he LOVED what he was doing.  I feel like we could all use a little dose of this medicine.  Perhaps less complaining that our professor assigned hours of work.  I mean, heaven forbid that a college professor would assign homework that would take actual effort!  Perhaps we could use a little more joy in the things that we do.  Maybe we could appreciate the things that God has blessed us with--a job, basic necessities, education, etc--and learn to love the things that we have.  Learn to love the things that we do and those we do them with.

I don't claim to know much about this word, love.  I would be a fool if I did.  But what I do know is that God loves us with a love that I can't comprehend, much less explain.  I also know that he loved us enough to have his son murdered so that he could look on me with favor and say "well done, my good and faithful servant."  So, on this Valentine's Day, go ahead and spoil your better/other half, but don't forget that we are called to love all people at all times. We are called to love like crazy.  Love with your time, love with your money, love with your talents, love with your speech, love with your insecurities, love outside of your comfort zone.

"Dear friends, let us not love with words or with speech but with actions and truth."

"Come, follow me."

How big is your Jesus? No, he doesn't come in all shapes and sizes.  What I mean is: how big of a role does he play in your life?  Is he just a Sunday morning entertainer?  Is he just the guy you thank for putting food on the table?  I guess to be fair, it's a trick question.  Jesus shouldn't play a "role" in my life.  He is the whole performance! 

To tell you the truth, sometimes (and by sometimes I mean often times), my Jesus is far too puny.  As much as it pains me to admit, sometimes I treat my Jesus as distant and cold.  Sometimes, I treat Him as if he is just another part of my life.  When Jesus says "Come, follow me," he commands us do it as if blindly.  He demands that we give him all authority to direct our lives.  How dare, then, for me to think that I can compartmentalize Christ into certain areas of my life when he calls me to radical abandonment?  How can I believe that it is ok to continue on appearing unchanged by His power?  Nowhere in  "Come, follow me" is there room for doing it halfheartedly.  "Come, follow me" should mean that every person that comes in contact with me knows that I have been changed by the most potent power in all of the universe."

One of my favorite pastors compares following Christ to getting hit by an 18-wheeler.  If you get run-over by a Mack truck, people are going to notice.  You cannot possible walk into work the next day and tell your co-workers around the water cooler a story about you getting smashed by a Mack truck the day before.  You clearly would not be the same after betting hit by a Mack truck.  Simply put, people can tell a difference in a person when they get hit by a Mack truck.  Similarly, we should not be the same after getting "struck" by Jesus.  You cannot walk into work the next day and tell your co-workers about your decision to follow Jesus and continue to live the same as the day before.  You just got hit by a Mack truck, you should be different!  "Come, follow me" means getting hit by a Mack truck.  "Come, follow me" means changing!  

I'll go back to the original question: How big is your Jesus?  The Jesus of the Bible is big enough to handle your problems, but often times we treat him as a last resort after we've tried to fix our lives ourselves.  The Jesus of the Bible is not distant and cold, but a comforter, and we still try to find comfort in every substance and pleasure under the sun before turning to Jesus.  What it boils down to is: Jesus is enough.  He is enough to satisfy our temporary needs.  He is enough fill our empty hearts.  He is enough to get us through.  He is enough to pull us out.  He is enough to push us on.  He is enough to provide protection.  "Come, follow me" is a daunting command, but it does not come without a promise.  "Come, follow me" cannot guarantee where the path will lead, or how smooth the path will be, or how the journey will be financed.  But "Come, follow me" can guarantee who you will be with.  You will be with Jesus.  The one who is enough, the one who is here, the one who is good, the one who is awesome, praise-worthy, holy, spotless, perfect, perfecting, powerful, omnipotent, omniscient, loving, selfish, jealous, mighty, everything, forgiving, firm, strong, healing, active, alive, glorious, almighty, capable, stronger, unending, incessant, merciful, gracious, demanding, accepting, abundant, forever worthy, timeless, priceless, crowned on high, adorned, unreachable yet accessible, inconceivable, divine, supreme, radiant, Emmanuel, I Am, able, faithful, ultimate, final, above all, immortal, impassible, indispensable, majestic, all sufficient, the crux of history, redeeming, atoning, just, limitless, blameless, beginningless, endless, burdenless, unshakable, comitted, compassionate, complete, incorruptable, unparalleled, unequaled, soverign, indefinite, unprecedented, beautiful, matchless, incomprehensible, invincible, irresistible and indescribable.   

That Jesus is worth following.  That Jesus is worth losing everything for.  That Jesus is worth ditching my flesh for.  When I get run over by that Jesus, I should not be the same.  That Jesus refuses to be "just another part of my life."  That Jesus does not play just a role in my life, but that Jesus is my life.    That Jesus is enough.  And that Jesus is worth it.  

"Jesus Christ, you are enough for me, but I am sorry that I don't treat you as enough.  I am not here to offer apologies for my neglect, but I am here to know You.  I want your power to be revealed to me as I follow you.  Here is everything.  You are sovereign over it all and you are alone are sufficient.  Wreck me, a wretch trying follow a saint.  Take over."

Every Time

We have no time to waste.  The gospel is free, but it is also time sensitive.  Every second that goes by without the gospel dripping from our lips, is a second wasted.  It must to evident in all parts of us.  Paul asked the church in Ephesus to pray "that whenever I open my mouth, words may be given to me so that I may fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel, for which I am an ambassador in chains.  Pray that I may declare it fearlessly, as I should."  Every time I open my mouth.  EVERY. TIME.

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But it's all good.  I'll start proclaiming the gospel when I get to high school.  I'll be more mature then and equipped to share the gospel.

Well, what I meant was once I make it to college, I'll have so much free time it'll be easy to live for Christ then.

I'm in college, I'm supposed to enjoy this time.  You know, discover myself and find out who I am.  After I do that, then I'll "Go, therefore, and make disciples."

I just graduated, got married, moved to a new city, and started my career.  Things are moving so fast right now.  Once everything settles down and I get used to this new life, then I'll start "conducting myself in a manner that is worthy of the gospel."

We just had kids and things are crazy right now.  I'll "look after orphans and widows in their distress" once we get a little more stable financially.

I just retired.  I've been working all my life. I just need  a little bit of time to exhale, then I'll get really into Jesus because I won't have any distractions to stop me.
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Maybe you've never said one of those phrases exactly, but the fact of the matter is, there's always an excuse not to.  There will probably never be a time in life where everything just falls into place, the heavens open up, the glory of God shines on you, and following Him becomes easy and as natural as breathing.  It's so natural for us to look into our future and think that there will be a time when all our desires and hopes and dreams will come true and then we can start following Jesus.  But reality is, it only gets harder.

EVERY TIME.  EVERY TIME.  EVERY TIME.  EVERY TIME.  EVERY TIME
I open my mouth I want to fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel.  Don't put it off.  There will never be a time, this side of heaven, when it will  become easier to live the gospel than it is right now.  Don't buy into the ploy of "next year...." or "once I get...." or "after I accomplish...."

The funny thing about this gospel procrastination phenomenon is that we are often times blind to it because all the while we are making these excuses, we're still in church.  We still read our Bible.  We don't do this.  We do do that.  We have substituted a life that is completely sold out to the cause of the gospel of Christ, for a veneer.  Instead of allowing ourselves to be continually sanctified by the Spirit right now, we're convinced that occasional/passive/halfhearted obedience will suffice until _________.

Isaiah 58 is my favorite passage in all the Bible. In it, God rips into the ignorance of the Israelites and tells them what he expects of them.  I see the same situation happening in the gospel procrastination phenomenon.  In the midst of our procrastination, we often experience many spiritual highs--normally after a camp or a retreat or a conference.  As we all know, these never seem to last very long.  In my life, these spiritual highs often served the purpose of catapulting me just high enough so that I hadn't hit rock bottom at the time of the next camp, conference, or retreat.  Life was lived from spiritual high to spiritual high, with extreme valleys in between.  God says clearly in Isaiah 58 that this is not his plan: "is this the kind of fast I have chosen, only a day for a man to humble himself?"  Of course not!  God's idea of a life sold out to him consists of the following:

• to loose the chains of injustice and untie the chords of the yoke
• to set the oppressed free and the break every yoke
• to share your food with the hungry
• to provide the poor wanderer with shelter
• to clothe the naked
• to provide for and be available to your own family
• to do away with the yoke of oppression
• to spend yourself on behalf of the hungry
• to satisfy the needs of the oppressed

We have not time to waste because currently, the chains of injustice are as tight as ever.  People are hungry. People are homeless.  People are naked.  Children don't know their own parents.  And worst of all, people are lost.  And lost means they're going to hell.  If knowing that your best friend is going to hell does not motivate you to fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel every time you open  your mouth, then nothing will.   

To put it as bluntly as possible.  We have no time to waste.  Wherever you are in life, you can proclaim the gospel. You may not know what comes next in life, but you can make known the mystery of the gospel every time you open your mouth right where you are today.  No excuses.  The gospel must be proclaimed and it must be proclaimed now.  If you choose to follow Christ, you do not have the luxury of doing it tomorrow, because people died without him today. 

Confession: most of my ideas for these last few posts have been developed during my Soils and Earthmoving Equipment class, and this one is no exception.  Sorry, Professor Zabel, but Jesus is a heck of a lot more interesting than underground site utility takeoff.

A couple of weeks ago I took a test.  It was one of those tests that leaves you with a sick feeling in your stomach afterwards because you just know it ain't one that Mom's gonna put on the fridge.  I left the class feeling pretty incapable.  In hindsight, now that I've received my grade, I suppose it was a bit of an overreaction (my mind tends to do that on occasion).  I got a B.  But I digress...the point of this story is that after my test, I realized pretty quickly that complaining and arguing about the test with my friends wasn't going to satisfy me. I just really wanted Jesus.  It wasn't as if I was feeling blue and just needed a quick Jesus-pick-me-up, it was much more than that.    It was a cool feeling, a desperate feeling to know that all I really needed was Jesus, and he was ready for me.  I finally found some time and a place to escape the mob that had gathered to quietly protest some of the test questions. I turned to John 15, and, boy, did I find Jesus.  I hit verse 9, and I stopped.  "As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you.  Now remain in my love." I re-read the verse, and this is what I got: "Do not remain in your intelligence.  It's not perfect.  Do not remain in your plans.  They will fall through, they are not perfect.  But do you know what is perfect? My love.  My love is perfect, so remain in it.  Abide in it.  I will not fail you.  Be desperate for my love and my love only because it is the kind of love that is not of this world."

"You can have all this world, but give me Jesus."

Where I Belong

Your presence is all I am longing for

here in the secret place

Your nearness is all I am waiting for

here in the quiet place

here in the secret place

My soul waits for You alone,

like the watchman waits for dawn

Here I've finally found a place,

where we'll meet, Lord, face to face

Finally found where I belong

Finally found where I belong,

In Your presence

Finally found where I belong,

to be with you

to be with you

I am my Beloved's and He is mine

Come into your garden and take delight in me

Delight in me, delight in me, delight in me, delight

delight in me, delight in me, delight in me, delight

Here in Your presence, God, I find my rest

Here in Your presence, God

This song is beautiful.  It's simple, yet so powerful.  The statement that it makes is undoubtedly enormous.  To look God in the face and say that "here in Your presence, I find my rest" is an incredibly bold, haunting, and liberating claim.  I do not belong to this world, but instead, I belong in Your presence.

Sometimes I feel so far away from the place where I can say that to God and mean it.  And i'm afraid that's because I complicate my faith far too much.  It's so easy to make my whole walk with God centered around my accomplishments in pursuing Christ.  I can get so focused on the details of my life and my faith that I miss the big picture.

 Live a life that pleases God. 

I want to find my rest in His presence.  I want to place my confidence in the presence of God.  I don't want to place my trust in democracy, or capitalism, or academics, or finances, or me.  I want to place my trust in the presence of God; because that is what matters.  That is where I belong.  I belong with Jesus Christ.  This skin and bones is just a rental.  I'm not obligated to my flesh, because I belong with Jesus Christ. 

If the idea is so simple, how come it's so difficult to actually do?  Well, for one, easy and simple are entirely different things.  This past week, God has shown me what it means to really walk with Him throughout the day.  To remind myself constantly "how can I pursue God in this situation?" puts every circumstance in perspective. But still, I don't have the discipline to do this in all situations.  But I want it.   His presence is enough for me.  I get myself in trouble when I begin to mindlessly follow the desires of my flesh and begin to convince myself that His presence isn't quite enough, but that I would be satisfied with just this one extra thing.   To find my rest in the presence of God means to continually be in the presence of God, to continually be in a mindset of pursuing God in every situation.  That is the missing link between the simplicity of "just please God", and it's implementation in every day life.  

Basically, I want to debunk my own myth of a complicated faith.  I just want to live a life that pleases the heart of God.  If God isn't being glorified, if He isn't able to delight in me, then I am not living the way that He demands.  

its simple.  please God.  period.

Sunday Afternoon

Something about Sunday afternoons.  There's a sort of naive invincibility to it.  I took a walk today with someone that's close to me.  I haven't taken a walk in a long time.  Usually, when I want to think, I go on  a motorcycle ride.  But today, I slowed it down.  You can see a lot of God when you doing 50 down a back road, but you can see a lot of Him too when you walking with someone else's hand in yours under the canopy  of green tree tops that sit just below a  uniformly blue sky. I'm not sure what it is about Sunday afternoons that let you look at the two terrifyingly busy weeks ahead and welcome it with the kind of abandon that should only exist during the carefree weeks of summer break.  Whatever it is, I'm a fan.  I don't have time to stress out--life's too important.  There are things in life that I know I'm called to, but if I focus too much on next year, next month, next week, or even tomorrow, then I miss today.  And I can't ever get today back.  God has this way of reminding me of this sometimes.  Today it was with a walk.  With contrast.  With a sleepy goodbye.  With fall.  With grace.  With understanding.  I can't exactly explain how, but trust me, He did.  There's a lot more in store for me than stress.  I want to be able to slow down.  I want to see the subtleties that God laces into the earth that often time go unnoticed. I want to see what I normally miss,  'cause I feel like God has a lot more in store than what I realize.  Sometimes I guess it just takes a Sunday afternoon to realize that.